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If you find out she is lying to you, do not tolerate it and walk away from the relationship.- Control yourself: Adapt your lifestyle too and try to spend less than usual.Dating older men for an Indonesian girl is not necessarily seen as a bad thing, because older men are deemed more adequate to provide girls with the security they need.
- If she asks you money for her family, take the matter seriously.
Visit them, and make sure that everyone is doing its share too, including all the relatives.
When you ask backpackers in Jalan Jaksa about the girls they sleep with, they will often tell you girls who are dating older men.
Once again, you will have to be careful to respect her right to be young and to party/go out/etc.
How do you arrange her coming to your home country?
Should you help her when she or a member of her family gets sick, and to what extent?
Working out these differences will teach you a lot of valuable lessons and you will learn to understand another culture which is just as fascinating as yours.
The thing you have to understand is: What does your girlfriend mean when she tells you "I love you". Western Love is a luxury that people can afford only after they've reached a certain level of security.
Always show that the act of buying something is a rationale decision, not an impulsive one.